Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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