That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
