Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Randomize
