best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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