So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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