You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
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It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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