so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
