she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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