I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
