Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
