Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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