the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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