Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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