Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
