She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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