I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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