I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
