I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
