shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Two words: nipple clamps
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