I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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