I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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