I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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