dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
