I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
