I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
