i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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