FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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