you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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