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I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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