she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
