thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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