I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
