the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
