If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
