I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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