As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize