I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize