HIV tests are more positive than that guy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Randomize
