I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm too high and old for this...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
