We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
