Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
