And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
