then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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