I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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