honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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