She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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