Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
