Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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