no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
