They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
