i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
