Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
