I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
