I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize