why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize