i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
