I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize