marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
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Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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