I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
