what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
