she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
