i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
