In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
