If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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