...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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