I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
